I love pizza
I went to bed last night and I am enclosed by two pillows and then I reach over for my pizza slice(it’s a pizza pillow that Preeti gave to me), and I think to myself I’m 30 years old, isn’t it a little odd that I am sleeping with a slice of pizza? Then I thought, who does that effect other than me, but then I thought, how long should I be sleeping with stuffed objects? Can I be 50 and sleep with a slice of pizza? That is disturbing, haha. Then I thought to myself , I don’t think I’m ever going to be a “normal” adult, never ever, legit. You need to know this. I’m not going down a normal life path and its evident in everything I do. I just realized that about myself last night. That if I want to sleep with a slice of pizza for the rest of my life, I’m gonna do it.
I made it to the top.
It wasn’t looking good for me. As you can see, I worked up a good sweat. I didn’t think I would make it to the top, cause quite frankly, I didn’t think it existed.
But lets be honest, whats the deal with hiking anyways?
1. You are out in nature - I dont give a shit about nature up close and personal. The way I view nature is its nice from far but far from nice.
2. You get to separate yourself from the city life - I love the city. I love having people and things around me. I don’t need to be alone. Love me, need me, listen to me, over indulge me.
3. Enjoy nature for nature - Fuck you. It’s quiet out there all you can hear is the sound of your feet crunching on the ground. That’s not a pleasant sound. Oh and you can hear when animals dart out of the shrubs and try to scare you cause they are pissed that you are walking around in their hood. Nature can do its own thing for all I care. I can enjoy it from my couch or from hundreds of miles away.
In closing, “hey nature, sorry I intruded yesterday. I’m gonna stay in the city. Where if a mountain lion is walking around, hes fucked, not me”
So I saw this sign as I was walking in. It’s a great little notice to put up that there is a Mountain Lion on the loose. Oh and if you aren’t ravaged by the mountain lion his buddies the Rattlesnake, bobcat, coyote, tick and various snakes will be sure to greet you and make sure you have a very enjoyable hike. I swear I wish I didn’t read this very informative 8 1/2 x 11 warning sign of the dangers that nature has to offer cause that’s all i could think about while I was going up this death trap of a mountain.
So 5 minutes later. I am gaining more hatred for this activity that I did with zero planning. I realized when I got to the base of this trail that I should have brought some water. What if I get thirsty? What if I get lost? I’m pretty sure i’m gonna get thirsty! Fuck, I should have planned better. It’s hot as fuck outside and I am a sweater. It sucks when you are in the middle of a mountain and you don’t know how high you actually have to go to reach the peak and realize you are sweating at a high rate and your throat becomes parched. Then all of the sudden you start hearing and seeing things out the corner of your eye. At this point I am starting to panic. Like really panic. I’m worried about snakes jumping out at me from all directions. Maybe there will be multiple snakes, I can’t fight a snake! Snakes are too quick and they bite. I don’t want to fight anything that is quick and can bite. Fuck my life. At this point i’m also worried about the Mountain Lion that’s on the loose in the very mountain that I am hiking. That’s right there is a fucking mountain lion that is on the loose in the fucking Burbank mountains. What the fuck is going on ?
Moving To LA
I decided its time to make a move in my life. The thought has been swimming around in my mind for the past year. My life has been somewhat stagnant for years. I graduated from college in 2003 and followed the path of finding the right office job. I worked for legalized drug dealers, to narcissistic surgeons, to the wonderful world of cellphone sales. In all that time, I always thought its fine that I haven’t settled on a job, there has to be a job out there for me and my time would come to be making a six figure salary. Truth be told, I feel like i’m almost allergic to work.
I’ve haven’t had the luxury of keeping all of my jobs on my own terms. Most have ended in layoffs and a few terminations like the job I had at the ice cream stand, the department store, the fast food restaurant, the moving company,the telemarketing company, and the pizza place. Holy shit! Its almost astonishing when I look back at how many opportunities I’ve worked through. One thing is for sure, this guy can get a job when he needs to. Keeping a job seems to be the issue.
It came to me in January that a change needed to be made this year. That I have been sitting for entirely too long. Sitting too comfortably in my mom and dad basement watching as my life just passed day after day. Its an uncomfortable feeling as you let yourself sit and not advance or push yourself and realize it as it is happening. I knew something needed to change and I was the only one responsible for making that happen. Things in my life were changing.
I decided I have been sitting in the house to much and needed to explore. Everyone that lives in LA recommends hiking. Up to this point in my life I haven’t cared too much about walking up mountains or hills or seeing nature. I did hike up Mt. Washington many years ago and hated every minute of it. I should have realized that hiking just isn’t for me. I guess i’m more ignorant of my own needs than i’m aware of.
This video is 15 minutes into my hike.
The Ninja Way - watch more funny videos
Langston doing his thing! Enjoy
Plan B - watch more funny videos
The Blood Bank - watch more funny videos
Man Kills Friend During Argument over NBA Finals »
his face explains it all
Zombie Attack - watch more funny videos
One-Man Show »
Louis C.K. is one of my favorite comedians. check this out
Kobe Byrant’s Post Game Meltdown - watch more funny videos
